Mike McTall
Posted Oct 19, 2020
at 01:15pm
I want to start by saying that as I drove to Ted’s memorial service, the celebration of his life, I had a lot of thoughts about our long time friendship, what might be said at the memorial and the inevitable thoughts by everyone there about their own mortality. It seems that the pastor had been in on my thoughts as he spoke of many of them.
I first came to get a haircut at Ken’s and Ted’s in 1973. I had been working in a warehouse and got an opportunity to work in the office and needed to cut my hair, which was down to the middle of my back. It was Ted who cut my hair that day and it became the beginning of a very long friendship.
A dynamic that has always existed at a barber shop or salon is that so many subjects are discussed during your time there such as politics, sports, business or family issues. I guess because Ted and I seemed to hit it off very early on we had discussions about all these subjects and quickly these conversations became more personal and intimate rather than just a superficial chat. I give Ted a lot of the credit for that as he always seemed to be genuinely interested. I would come to know and appreciate that this was just one of his characteristics. Over the many years our lives would change and so would the conversations. Family became more important. My divorce after 36 years and remarriage. My struggles within my relationships with my son, ex-wife, new wife, etc. Ted would always remember our last conversation (amazing considering how many he would have with other clients) and ask how (fill in the blank) was doing. He would always beam and laugh lightheartedly when he would tell me about his daughters, his grandchildren, hunting, fishing with them, family vacations to Colorado and we would always have a good conversation about the Texas Rangers.
There are about three stories that I have always remembered, and I have often shared them with others I know.
Like the time he spent a considerable amount of his time and a few dollars rebuilding a small wood deck for his aged uncle. After it was done his uncle offered to pay Ted for it. After he refused several times to take anything for doing it he finally relented. His uncle then gave him $5.00.
Or the ongoing love/hate relationship he had with a pet iguana that, I believe, originally belonged to one of his daughters. He would tell me stories of how he tried to treat this lizard with some degree of kindness despite the meanness it showed toward him. He would tell me in a very calm manner how he just hated that iguana, at times, although I don’t think he meant it.
Then, as my hair began to thin and my hairline to recede Ted began to suggest that I consider a shorter cut. After many months, maybe a couple of years, he continued to suggest this to me. I would always say “no, thanks”, or “I’ll think about it”. Then during one of my trips to Canada with my new wife (she’s Canadian) she introduced me to her stylist, and he suggested it. I was trapped and had to give in. Oh my.
I felt as though I had cheated on my wife the next time I came into Hair Etc. But Ted, in his normal demeanor, didn’t chastise me or the cut. He just said, “that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you to do”.
This brings me to the one word I think of to describe Ted. Kindhearted. This was a characteristic that only three very close friends of mine have had and Ted is one of those three. I never saw any of them ever get angry. It’s a characteristic that I admire and don’t possess. All three have gone on to be with the Lord and yet that part of them remains with me as a reminder, to help me strive to be a better man.
Thirteen years ago, I became a follower of Jesus Christ and my conversations with Ted became changed by that. Our faith became something that would create a different perspective on whatever we might be talking about. I shared some books with him, and he shared one with someone else.
After I attended a men’s spiritual renewal weekend that really gave me a deeper understanding of my faith and gave me the ease of being close to other Christian men I continued to serve on subsequent Weekends for some seven years.
As a result of this experience, our Christian love for each other became more prominent in our conversations, especially after Ted became ill. After he would finish cutting my hair he would tell me in very genuine tones how much he appreciated me as a friend. It was easy for me to give him a hug and tell him that I loved him.
One of the things I thought of on my way to his celebration was that on that Sunday he met our Lord Jesus face to face, it was the first day of his eternity. I know that Ted will be one of those that welcomes me when my life here is over and my first day of eternity with our Lord begins. I look forward to seeing him again. His legacy is intact in the memories of those who were fortunate to know him.
~ Mike McTall
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